Journal Entry

If I’m not experiencing an episode then it’s just the fear that one is right around the corner. I have no escape.

– Julie Johnson, from the book Unveiling the Sky

Hubby and I went to see Baywatch yesterday. It’s been forever since I’ve been to the theater. Are all movies becoming half low budget or was it just that one? I was funny and whatnot, but the stunt special effects sucked.. For the past 3 nights I’ve been having nightmares about him being unfaithful. I wish they’d stop, instead they just reel through my mind 24/7. I hate it and I wish I could stop it. It’s already been 2 weeks since I’ve been laid; my mind doesn’t need to be thinking shit like it is. I swear I take one step forward and 10 steps back from these diseases/disorders.

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Journal Entry

If you expect nothing from somebody, you are never disappointed.
– Sylvia Plath

The quote above is very true. Since I’m a person that loves with my whole heart, it’s quite difficult. This most recent week, I found that someone very near and dear to my heart had yet again betrayed me. I argue almost every day with this person about infidelity. It doesn’t help nor matter. I argue with him anyway. It doesn’t do anything but make things worse, for me especially. Advice: If you’re married, don’t open a fucking online dating profile.
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Followers

Holy shit! I need to tell everyone, thank you all for your feedback (all positive so far). I’m planning on publishing a poetry chapbook with the poems that I post and everyone’s likes and follows make me think that I really could potentially publish this thing. Before I was thinking, “Well nobody is going to want to read my depressing shit.” I forget sometimes that I share similar mentalities as other people. Thanks again! (:

-PS Feel free to comment. Feedback is always welcome..

PSA: Ativan

Oh fuck. I never thought I’d EVER withdrawal from any kind of medication for my mentality that my shrink has put me on. I was wrong.. For those of you that take Ativan (benzo class controlled substance), IT FUCKING SUCKS to be taken off of it. If I knew this shit, I wouldn’t have even started taking it in the first place.

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