Broken

You have no sympathy for me?
I have no sympathy for you
Treat others the same as you would want
Now that may be true

I’ve changed for the worse
If you can, open your eyes and see
I have venom in my blood, my heart is ice
Please don’t get in my face, no not me

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Journal Entry

If I’m not experiencing an episode then it’s just the fear that one is right around the corner. I have no escape.

– Julie Johnson, from the book Unveiling the Sky

Hubby and I went to see Baywatch yesterday. It’s been forever since I’ve been to the theater. Are all movies becoming half low budget or was it just that one? I was funny and whatnot, but the stunt special effects sucked.. For the past 3 nights I’ve been having nightmares about him being unfaithful. I wish they’d stop, instead they just reel through my mind 24/7. I hate it and I wish I could stop it. It’s already been 2 weeks since I’ve been laid; my mind doesn’t need to be thinking shit like it is. I swear I take one step forward and 10 steps back from these diseases/disorders.

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Journal Entry

If you expect nothing from somebody, you are never disappointed.
– Sylvia Plath

The quote above is very true. Since I’m a person that loves with my whole heart, it’s quite difficult. This most recent week, I found that someone very near and dear to my heart had yet again betrayed me. I argue almost every day with this person about infidelity. It doesn’t help nor matter. I argue with him anyway. It doesn’t do anything but make things worse, for me especially. Advice: If you’re married, don’t open a fucking online dating profile.
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